My brain has been in full force party planning mode for Eliana's first birthday a lot lately, so I knew intellectually that she has been getting closer and closer to being a one-year old. But it still took me by surprise when she reached 11 months old a few days ago. Every other month, as fast as it went, I always knew it was coming at least a few days in advance and reminded myself to have her onesie sticker out and to be sure to get her weight and length at the Mommy-Baby clinic where we go to Mommy & Me classes. This month came out of nowhere though. I got used to her being ten months old as if she was just going to slow down and stay there for a while.
But instead she just keeps growing up. Something that is so amazing and rewarding to witness and be a part of that I will forgive her for leaving her oh so precious infant stage. Because each day she really is less and less an infant and more and more a toddler. Every day she learns something new or improves a skill. Seeing her discover or share these new things is just about the most exciting thing in the universe. She now has a vocabulary of about 17 signs and can not only perform the sign when we ask her how to say "monkey" but she can also open and close her hands to specifically ask for a book before bed. It is amazing to see that comprehension and to communicate about her world. I think the most amazing of signing moment of the month happened when we were feeding ducks for the first time at the park. I showed her the sign for duck, which she was excited to repeat and then told her to say hi to the ducks. She then proceeded to look at each individual duck, wave to it and then sign the word "duck". She was literally saying "hi, duck!" I was and still am amazed.
And it doesn't stop at sign communication. I am officially calling her first words this month. Yes, she has been babbling for a while and making all of the requisite "muh muh muhs" and da da das" but it hasn't seemed like she truly had these sounds tied to anyone or anything specific. She hasn't really said them in a way that seemed intended to communicate. But then came a new game that she couldn't help but cheer for. I was teaching her to put her colored balls "into" the toy they come with. She had loved taking things out for a while but hadn't discovered the opposite action yet. She paid close attention to my instruction and guidance and then finally when I asked if she could put the green ball into the bucket she did it completely unassisted. She was so proud that she immediately burst into applause and yelled "Yay!" Not as a repetition or random sound but as the word itself, on her own, unprompted and to let me know she was happy. And she has kept saying it as well as noises for milk, Mommy, Daddy, hi, bye, and all done. She never stops amazing me though and I have a feeling she is trying to say more words that we just aren't catching on to yet.
She is also becoming much more mobile and as her tenth month came to an end she learned to sit herself up from laying on her back or tummy and it has become a favorite new skill to use, especially when she should be sleeping but would rather not. And sitting alone usually isn't exciting enough. Whenever possible she pulls herself up onto her knees and puts a foot out like she's trying to figure out how to get to her feet. She hasn't gotten farther than that yet, but her new found abilities have nevertheless finally forced us to lower her crib. Yes believe it or not, it was on the newborn height until the day she reached 11 months. Mobility has just never been her greatest interest but now with these new skills and her always improving inchworm crawl, the days of having my baby stay in one place are gone forever. The inchworm crawl is crazy adorable by the way. She doesn't get her knees under her but she still gets to where she wants to go by slithering and shimmying through the room, and she gets there pretty fast.
And that's the theme of this month, of this whole year really: fast. My Snow Pea is growing up so fast! This time last year Chad and I were anxiously wondering when our baby girl would make her debut, wondering what she would look like, whose eyes she'd have, what would make her smile, how her laugh would sound. The past eleven months have been an amazing journey of discovering all of those answers and getting to know her personality is so much fun that I am almost ready to accept that that she really is a toddler and not a baby. But with only one month left until she is officially a year old, I am not quite ready yet. So I am going to take each day slowly and savor every second I have with her as my sweet baby.
I can't believe how much my little Snow Pea is changing every day! She is developing new skills and I am seeing lots of signs. Specifically, signs that's it's time to start baby signs! Eliana is getting more and more aware of the world around her and is also becoming more vocal about it. She "talks" to everything she sees: me, Daddy, her mobile, her play mat and even her changing table. With this new found awareness of the world, she has also become even more aware of her hands and is constantly watching them and moving them to see just how much they're capable of. Her favorite thing is, of course, grabbing rattles and rings that hang in front of her or grasping onto her blankets and bibs promptly pulling everything into her mouth. But sometimes she simply twists her hands and fingers into different configurations, watching closely to see just what these amazing appendages of hers are capable of. And now I am thinking about what they're capable of too!
I have read a few of books, attended a new mom group that covered some signing basics and best of all I received a hand made sign instruction kit from my fabulous sister in law, who teaches a baby sign course (you can find the Facebook page for her class "Signing Fun for Babies" here) So I know the basics. Now I just need to get started.
I have decided to start simply and think about the words I say to her on a daily basis and begin incorporating the signs for those things when I say them. What I didn't realize however, is that many of these common words and phrases have different signs associated with them and I would have to decide which ones to use. There is a difference between American Sign Language and baby signs. Because many of the ASL signs are too intricate or detailed for an infant's little hands, many of the ASL signs have been modified to make them simpler. The problem is that depending on what resource you turn to to learn these modified versions, you will get slightly different signs.After researching video dictionaries on some of these words, I am opting to use signs that seem the simplest to understand and repeat with favoritism toward the signs closest to ASL signs. And what I am learning when using your hands to communicate with your baby, the most important factor is your baby. If can use whatever hand gesture I want to teach her to communicate with me. And if she modifies or makes one up herself that's great too! No two babies will sign the same and that's OK. Which is great because I am always afraid I am doing it wrong.
Tomorrow is my official signing start day. After doing some reading and listening to some words of wisdom of the matter, it seems that it will be best for us to start with just a few signs that we can repeat over and over and slowly expand our vocabulary. So Chad and I will be consistently focusing on signing things that are not only relevant to Eliana's daily life but things that are repeated throughout her day many times. The words I want to start with are milk, more, all done, Mommy, Daddy and star. "Star" may seem like the odd word out on a list that includes many basic daily experiences, but she is surrounded by the heavenly, five pointed shapes in her nursery everyday, and they have quickly become her favorite thing to look at. She also LOVES hearing me sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" even calming from mid scream to giggles when I sing it, so I plan to begin signing it as I sing every time from now on.
I am so excited to get started! I know most babies don't sign on their own until about 7 months or later, but my niece did her first sign at 4 months and even if Eliana waits until 10 months or a year to talk with her hands, I still feel like this will be providing our family with a valuable communication tool. I adore having "cooing" conversations with my baby already where she coos, babbles and squeals in response to my voice and now I am looking forward to talking to her even more in a new, fun way!
I have a habit of checking my email and twitter account from my blackberry each morning before I get out of bed. Yes, it's partially a technology addiction but it started because I had to wake up a half an hour early in order to avoid any mess from my morning dose of progesterone gel. Either way, it's a habit I now enjoy as I am not a morning person and it gives that little bit of time to really wake up before having to be "up". This Saturday though as I checked my email I was ready to hop out of bed from excitement without the 30 minute buffer. There waiting in my inbox were two separate pregnancy subscriptions welcoming me to 13 weeks and the start of my second trimester!
I have been of course counting the weeks and days as they pass by but for some reason it never registered that such an important milestone was upon me until it happened. The sense of joy, relief and gratitude I feel at reaching this wonderful new stage of pregnancy is almost impossible to express. I suddenly felt more connected to Snow Pea than ever before and more excited to think about the day I will hold my baby in my arms. After losing sprout, I have definitely been more guarded and a little disconnected. Not that I am not enjoying and loving every second but I still keep taking it all moment by moment. Reaching this point of pregnancy feels like a dream come true and makes everything feel more real than it did before.
Making this new stage feel even more real and even more exciting is that today was the nuchal translucency scan. For those that don't know the NT scan is done between 11 and 14 weeks to measure fluid at the back of the neck as an indicator for down's syndrome. They also measure the baby's growth, heartbeat, and take a look at the developing limbs and organs. Since you're already in the office with your belly all jellied up, the u/s techs are usually also kind enough to show off all kind's off other cute baby parts. It was incredible!
This was our first really good "tummy u/s" too which somehow made it feel that much more real to me. Every other time we had gotten a good view of Snow Pea it had been with wandy, so we were always looking from an unconventional angle and it's not exactly where I think of the baby as being. As soon as she put the probe on my belly we could see Snow Pea moving and kicking around and as soon as the tech declared how active our baby was, Snow Pea promptly fell asleep. For those of you that know Chad, you know this is definitely a trait of his that he has so kindly passed on to our child. He can fall asleep anytime, anywhere and sleep for 13 hours if he has nothing forcing him to wake up. As much as it drives me nuts that my husband can sleep like that, I have to admit it was cute and a bit endearing to actually witness Snow pea doing it.
Of course though, Snow Pea being asleep wasn't entirely conducive to the scan and the tech had to keep bouncing little one around to get the correct position. And again, being my husband's child, Snow Pea wasn't exactly easy to wake up. But after a bit of jiggling she finally got the view she needed and reported everything looks right on target. She also gave us our very first listen of our sweet little miracle's heartbeat. It was music to our ears, and one of us got a bit teary eyed. It measured at a very healthy 143bpm.
We soaked up every second of seeing our baby in profile for the first time and relished watching the twitches that looked like full body hiccups. Then the tech asked if we'd like a guess on the sex. Since neither of us are great at waiting for surprises we said yes so she pointed out the little nub between our baby's legs and explained the difference between males and females at this stage of development. Based on the position and angle, she predicted that our baby is made up of XX chromosomes as opposed to XY but of course nothing is definite this early on. I will say though that based on my research, this office does have a high rate of accuracy, as does this method of prediction when done by a skilled tech. Of course, we aren't betting the farm on this but since our approach to parenting is more gender neutral to begin with, if the prediction does change later it wouldn't be the end of the world. The most exciting thing about possibly knowing the sex is just feeling that much more connected to Snow Pea as a real person and not an "it". (Although, truth be told, Chad REALLY wants a girl so he's even more excited right now)
I just can't believe that we've reached such an amazing milestone and I can't stop looking at my sweet baby's newest pictures. My favorite thing to do lately is go through them in order and watch Snow Pea grow, starting with the very first picture on transfer day when Snow Pea was just a large clump of cells. This is truly an amazing experience and after all it took to get here, I am incredibly grateful for every moment.
I have been finding lots of little smiles lately. It feels good to find the happy moments.
So it's official, I am entering the dreaded 2ww. That lovely time every month after ovulation but before you can take an HPT where you try not obsess over every little tummy twinge or bout of fatigue: "Is that implantation cramping or just gas pains? Am I exhausted because my body is furiously dividing cells or is it because I was up until after midnight chatting on twitter?"
As the months have gone on I have gotten much better about not reading into every "symptom" and have even been known to stop temping so that I can avoid the tendency to over-analyze every tiny dip or rise in my BBT. But one thing I can't seem to stop analyzing is the signs!
I am not really a very superstitious or religious person but I still have faith that there is more to the world than what I can see and sometimes it feels like the universe really is talking directly to me! Only 1dpo and the signs are already starting.
First, when I got my new OPKs in the mail this month the company included a temporary tattoo of a lucky shamrock. Chad (DH) and I got married the day after St Patty's so I always associate this imagery with the two of us and the start of our family- another shamrock could mean good things for the growth of our family!
More wedding related imagery- the last song at our wedding was "The Best is Yet to Come". I didn't shed a single tear the entire wedding day (I was just too busy smiling!), until this song played. The lyrics just hit me as I was looking into Chad's eyes dancing and then the waterworks started. Ever since, anytime this song plays it just happens to be when I am wondering about the what's next and I always take it to literally mean the next great thing is about to come. For instance, when I was unpacking after our move to California from Florida I was naturally thinking a lot about whether this would turn out to be the best for us and whether I could handle being 3500 miles away from ALL of our friends and family. Well, I decided to put on some music while I unpacked and what do you think the very 1st song that played was? Yep! "The Best is Yet to Come"! And as it played I unpacked the box that just happened to have our wedding photo on top! It was the 1st thing to hang in our new home. And it really turned out to be true. We are loving life here and can't wait to raise a child in California. And then last night, the day I O'd, Chad put on Pandora and the VERY 1st song on was again "The Best Is Yet to Come"!
Oh and this Wednesday marks 7 years of Chad and I as a couple, which means our 8th year together starts this week. 8 is my lucky number, not really a sign but still adds to my overall good vibes!
I am sure I will find plenty more signs as the 2ww goes on. I just can't help it!
Yes of course I know logically that anyone can take any mundane moment and make it all about them or make it fit their needs if they want to, but that doesn't mean I can't see these moments as reasons to hope. I am a dreamer by nature and my childlike belief in magic, wishing on stars, and gold at the end of the rainbow is something I could never give up. Sure I have no proof that the universe is giving me messages, but I also have no proof that it isn't.
So what about you? What good signs has the universe given you? I am really interested in hearing about your moments of serendipity. The song the radio played just for you or the fortune cookie that was surely destined to wind up in your take-out. There are signs everywhere! Share yours!
My brain has been in full force party planning mode for Eliana's first birthday a lot lately, so I knew intellectually that she has been getting closer and closer to being a one-year old. But it still took me by surprise when she reached 11 months old a few days ago. Every other month, as fast as it went, I always knew it was coming at least a few days in advance and reminded myself to have her onesie sticker out and to be sure to get her weight and length at the Mommy-Baby clinic where we go to Mommy & Me classes. This month came out of nowhere though. I got used to her being ten months old as if she was just going to slow down and stay there for a while.
