Is It Nap Time Yet?

Well it's Monday, which means I had my 3rd beta today. My last beta level came in at 1315 four days ago, so it should have doubled twice and measured at about 5200 today. I had my blood drawn at 8am and was then told that the results wouldn't be in until after lunch, at about 2pm, a wait that normally would have made me incredibly anxious, but today I have been far too tired to feel very strongly about anything except my desire to curl up with my soft green blanket and pass out. Actually, I was in just such a state when the phone rang this afternoon and my nurse very happily reported that my beta was 6900!

She then decided my number was high enough to warrant an ultrasound but wanted to consult with Dr Jedi first before scheduling the appointment. She said it would either be Friday when we would be able to see the yolk sac but possibly too early for the heartbeat, or Monday when she was confident a heartbeat should be visible. I happily thanked her for the good news and went back into my couch coma. After another hour so she called to schedule the first ultrasound for Monday.

Seems Dr. Jedi thinks those few extra days will be worth it for a better chance of finding a heartbeat. And even though it is a full week's wait, I agree with him. The ultrasound was mine and Sprout's undoing last time. Even worse though was that it was all so inconclusive. At that 1st ultrasound, we were told it was most likely a non-viable pregnancy, but I had 3 more ultrasounds before it was made official. That week and a half of uncertainty and doomed hope made everything so much harder. It forced us to put our grief on hold and dragged out the hurt. I hope with all of my heart that this pregnancy is the one that goes the distance, but either way I want as much accurate and conclusive information as I can get from the very first ultrasound. So those few extra days of waiting is really worth it to me. (Please remind me I said this when I am freaking out at the end of the week, anxiously willing Monday to hurry up and get here.)

Right now though, I feel pretty calm and relaxed about the wait. Or maybe I'm just too sleepy to be nervous. I honestly feel like I have the ability to sleep straight through until next Monday, only waking periodically to do my injections and maybe eat or go to the bathroom. I took 2 naps today, both filled with crazy vivid dreams (one of which lots of my bloggy and twitter friends showed up in!) Yes, these symptoms make me happy but they aren't as comforting as you would think, since the sleepiness and vivid dreams stuck around until well after my last pregnancy was determined to be non-viable. I just need to see the heartbeat to feel like this is real and if I have to wait a few extra days for that, it will be worth it. I am still one tired girl though, so if you need me I will be the girl curled up the couch napping. Wake me when it's Monday again.