Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Heart to Heart

Yesterday was the 1st ultrasound and I am thrilled to tell you, WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT!

Chad and I were both incredibly scared and nervous on the way to the clinic yesterday afternoon. Neither of us could imagine this appointment going very well because we don't know anything different. Our last experience with pregnancy taught us that ultrasound = bad news. I almost lost it in the car when "Imagine" by John Lennon came on, the song we had both felt was Sprout's song, I was so afraid this ultrasound would be a repeat of that one.

It felt like we sat in that little room staring at wandy for a million years waiting for Dr Jedi. We hugged and took a deep breath, both grateful that neither of us had anywh
ere to be after this appointment. I told him all about the amazing support I had been getting from friends, family and twitter all day, about all the incredible people that were waiting and hoping with us. He echoed my feelings when he said how great it was to know we had so many people out there rooting for us.

Dr Jedi finally came in with total confidence that everything would be great this time. He had no doubts that everything would be perfect and after starting the u/s he immediately confirmed that things looked great. We have one little one with a great sized ge
stational sac and well formed yolk sac. Then he pointed out the most lovely sight of all- the perfect, tiny, hyper speed flutter of a heartbeat! He said it is still too tiny for him to accurately count beats per minute but that in his opinion it looks very fast and strong just like it should. He was a bit shocked that there was only one sac with my high beta numbers but we all agreed the high numbers were a great thing anyway.

He let us watch the heartbeat a bit more and I was almost speechless with relief and joy. He kept asking if we had any questions, but I could barely make my mouth work let alone remember anything important to ask. Dr. Jedi kept smiling me and telling me I did it. I reminded him that he helped. The force really is with him, I swear. I looked at Chad
who had tears in his eyes from sheer overwhelming relief and just smiled at him in disbelief.

We scheduled our next ultrasound for next Wednesday at whi
ch we should be able to see more growth and get a bpm count on the heartbeat. As we left the nurse all came by with huge smiles to congratulate us and one remarked that I had a pregnancy glow.

After we left we started to call our families to tell them the great news but I, being slow to experience the big emotional moments, needed to pause as the reality of everything washed over me and tears came to my eyes. I am really, truly pregnant! There is a tiny heart inside my body besides mine that is beating and growing. This could all really happen. We could actually become parents! This dream could really come true, I could really be a mom! It just seems too good to really be true!

Of course, now that it is more real I have the need to call my little one something other than "it". Chad dubbed the blasts we transferred our snowflakes but he has since said he didn't feel a strong connection to that name. We agreed that since one little snowflake has successfully spouted into a healthy little bean, we needed a more appropriate name. So may I introduce our little Snow Pea!

The round almost circle is the yolk sac and Snow Pea is a tiny little flicker right underneath that. I still just can't believe it. I can't believe this is really happening inside my body, that there is an actual person growing in there, an actual person that is half me and half Chad, an actual person that we will one day hold and kiss and take care of. After over 3 years of trying and hoping and losing and hurting can this really be happening? It's just so unreal, I can't seem to get my brain to work properly and fully comprehend everything right now. Luckily though my heart, just like Snow Pea's, is working just fine.

24 comments:

MarfMom said...

This is beautiful! I am SOOOOO excited for the two of you!!! I love the name Snow Pea too. :-)

Katie said...

This is, by far, the best picture I've seen in a long time.

xo

Rita said...

I am so incredibly happy and excited for you!!! I love the name Snow Pea! It's perfect!!

Roxanne said...

So incredibly excited and happy for you!! I have been waiting for your post of great news!! Congrats Momma!!!!

Stephanie said...

So happy for you! What a fantastic day for you and your husband to experience together. Enjoy your pregnancy!

Not There Yet said...

YEAH!! I am so happy for you two (three!!).
Best wishes!

Mrs. G said...

Omg, so amazing. =) I am so happy for you.

The Gimlins said...

HOORAY!!!

Erin said...

I'm so excited that you got to see the heartbeat! It's such an amazing feeling. Major congrats!

Sarah said...

SO happy for you!! Your entry brought tears to my eyes. It is truly a blessing and a miracle. Congrats!

BabyWid said...

Woohoo!! Congrats!! The best sound to a pregnant lady!! Now you can start to really enjoy your pregnancy!

T said...

Congratulations! That is fantastic news!! This is finally it for you babe and I am so happy for you!

Basic Girl said...

Such amazing new!!! Congrats, so happy for you and hubs and your little snow pea is gorgeous!!

ryansmom said...

Happy to read everything went well. What a wonderful feeling to know you have a little life growing inside of you. So excited for you.

Ashley said...

Yay!!! What a beautiful picture! And I love the nickname Snow Pea. So precious!!! :)

Mrs. Tass said...

CONGRATS MOMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know how you feel...my hubby and I tried for three years and then got pregnant after we stopped. We just had our little Matthew and I am excited to know that you too will be bringing a lil one into this world! Praying for your family :O)

Kaitlin said...

Holly, this is so wonderful. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you and Chad!

Mrs. Type A said...

Congratulations!! This is such wonderful news! You are on your way to being a mom! Enjoy that pregnancy glow (hopefully it doesn't turn to sickness too soon!)

Jenn said...

congrats on the heartbeat, what an amazing sound!

Miracle in the Making said...

I love Snow Pea!! Congratulations again Holly! I cried reading this post! I am just so so happy for you. xoxo

Waiting Lisa said...

Awww, cute little picture of snow pea!! :)

Jen @ After The Alter said...

what a great shot you got of your little snow pea! Congratulations!!! I'm so glad you got to hear that little heartbeat! It's such an amazing sound!!! :)

Tiffany said...

Oh my gosh....Snow Pea, I have tears in my eyes! So happy for you two...i mean three!!

the baby baker said...

awe, snow pea. love it! congrats. so so excited for you guys. hugs!