Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Letting Go Of Living It Up


My transfer is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 11:45am and I couldn't be more excited, or nervous for that matter. I am also still very in awe that this whole process is actually happening and feeling a lot like Alice down the rabbit hole. It is all still so very surreal.

After this procedure I will have an embryo(s) made up of me and Chad inside my body. (we still don't know if we are transferring one or two). Those embryos are alive and growing in the lab and in less than 24 hours at least one of them will be in my womb. Wow! there's a word I haven't used much since being diagnosed infertile, uterus sure but never womb. It feels kinda nice, sort of corny but also more homey than the medical sounding uterus. I mean is that what I will say to my kids? "You grew in mommy's uterus"? Actually I'd probably feel weird saying "womb" too. I will most likely go with the standard "tummy". Whoa, where did this sidetracked rant come from? Sorry about that. Nerves.

Anyway, once my little embie(s) is transferred, I will be operating under the mantra of PUPO, Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. So, since tomorrow I WILL be pregnant, I have been running through the list of pregnancy no-no's and doing as many of them as I can. For the past week or so I have been having wine with dinner, enjoying sushi lunches, going out for a beer on the weekends, eating deli meat sandwiches, sipping fully-caffeinated lattes, taking the hottest showers imaginable and indulging in any of life's other pleasure that should not be had while growing a person. I got my hair cut and most importantly colored (thanks to the wonderful Bonnie and Amy). I went to Disneyland and rode every single ride in the joint, especially the coasters and thrill rides that are not recommended for expectant mothers or people with heart conditions. I have actually wondered if riding space mountain twice played a part in moving my left ovary to where I needed it to be (you can catch up on that story here) Tonight, we are having the good kind of sushi one more time, with wine of course, and then a latte in the morning before the transfer.

Not only has it been fun to live up my last few pre-pregnancy days, it has really helped keep my spirits high while enduring the daily injections and constant bloating. And I truly feel that, while I love sushi and wine, I will love being pregnant even more and I am ready to give these things up until next year. I just can't believe tomorrow is the transfer! No green beer or Guinness for me on St. Patrick's Day, but hopefully the luck of the Irish will be with me and my little embie(s). And the following day is our 3 year wedding anniversary. I can't think of a better anniversary gift than this.


Of course, I am also trying to brace myself for the anxiety of the wait until my beta test to determine if I truly am pregnant, and for the possibility that the test will come back negative, but mostly I am trying to think positive and believe that this really will be the last time I do this stuff for a long time. And now that it is all out of my system, I am just so ready to focus on relaxing and being ready to accept and nurture new life.

Wish Me Luck!

17 comments:

Katie Cupcake said...

Sending all my good transfer thoughts to you! The hardest part for me was definitely the full bladder. Make sure you get a picture of your embie(s). It's truly amazing. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya!

Randifity said...

My fingers hurt already from crossing them so tight for you and DH. I can't wait to hear an update tomorrow!

BabyWid said...

Keep thinking positively, you have a great mind set! I hope the transfer goes very smoothly tomorrow! Enjoy your last night as a non pregnant person!!

Waiting Lisa said...

I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow. Sending all my love your way. I am so excited for you.

Em said...

I would do the same... Sushi and latte every day. lol I am praying for good news for you. :) Prayers, LUCK!!!, ***BabyDust***, and fingers crossed

Miracle in the Making said...

So excited for you guy Holly!! I'm glad I was able to assist in the beautification portion of the living it up time period! What a perfect day to be transfered on too, the luckiest day of the year! I know tomorrow will be it for you! I can just feel it! Praying that the luck of the Irish pays off tomorrow, and you get your pot of gold at the end of, what has been, a very long and twisted rainbow!

PCOSChick said...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow & sending you lots of baby dust & sticky vibes!! I think you have some extra luck from the Irish going for you ;-)

Tiffany said...

I can't believe your transfer is on St. Patty's day...could you get more lucky?? I think it's totally a sign. Also, I can't tell you how good that sushi looked and how bad I crave it...but it's all worth it. GOOD LUCK!!

Megan said...

I am soooooooo excited for you, Holly!!! I hope everything goes well and according to plan and that you get and stay pregnant for a good nine months!! Good luck!

Dea.nna said...

Happy transfer day!!! So excited for you! I'm glad you lived it up this past week. Now stay away from all the bad stuff. I'll be enjoying the green beer, sushi and caffeine for you instead!

I think I'm going to convince the hubs that we should head to D.land this week. I'll think of you!

Congrats on your anniversary and being PUPO! I'll try my best to distract you from the tww. HUGS!!!

Adge said...

your liven it up. good luck today

Tillie said...

Good luck today!! I am so excited for you and will be praying that everything goes perfectly!! {hugs}

The Quest For Baby Hang said...

Aww you will be pregnant..soo happy for you..

Holly said...

Come on baby(ies)!

Praying praying praying!

Fertility Chick said...

Lots of luck coming from here!!! :)

Kelly said...

Thinking good thoughts, blessings and fingers crossed lady!

http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/

liberalgranolagirl said...

Lots of luck coming from this corner :) I love that you lived it up before the transfer! I do the same thing when AF comes ;)