One Month

My Dear Precious Snow Pea, Eliana,

You are one month old today! It is amazing that even though time seems to be moving at warp speed since you were born, it also feels like you have always been here, where you were meant to be. I know you have only been physically here for one month, but you have been alive and real in mine and Daddy's hearts for much, much longer than that. Now that you are finally here, we can't imagine a world without you in it.

Your first month in the world has been a busy one. Your Grammy came to visit from Florida, your Aunt Pammy came from Alaska and your Grandmommy and Granddaddy drove from Georgia to see your sweet face and spend time with you. Everyone just instantly falls in love with you and then misses you like crazy once they leave. Living far away from so many of the people that love you has been one of the hardest parts of this month, but always remember that no matter how far away they are, there are so many people that wanted you to be here and they all hoped and prayed for you, almost as much as Mommy and Daddy did.

I really can't believe how quickly this time has flown by or how much you have already grown and changed in one short month.You cheeks get squishier and more kissable every day as you become more and more aware of the world around you. It has been incredible to watch you as you notice something for the first time. Lately, you have become more interested in watching and trying to imitate faces. If Daddy or I blow raspberries at you, you start sticking out your tongue and flicking it in an attempt to do it too! It is the cutest thing in the world!

Yesterday thanks to you, I got to do something I thought at times I may never be able to do, celebrate my first Mother's Day. You gave me the most amazing and incredible gift for my first Mother's Day too, your first real smile! In the morning you slept in, while Daddy brought me breakfast in bed. After you woke up and had your breakfast, Daddy and I sat in the nursery playing with you. I was tickling your sweet, little chin and giggling at you like Ernie from "Sesame Street". You locked eyes with me as I kept doing that and at that moment the biggest smile spread across your face. It was incredible! Both mine and Daddy's hearts melted. We thought you were gorgeous before but seeing you smile was true beauty.

I still can't believe I got to celebrate such a special day with you. Last year at this time, I was heartbroken and devastated by longing and loss. My first mother's day was bittersweet because of that. I won't lie to you, I cried quite a bit yesterday morning, for a mixture of reasons. I cried tears of remembrance at last year's pain, tears of empathy for my friends still in longing, tears of gratitude for the support and love of your Daddy, tears of joy at seeing your amazing smile and tears of awe that this is real, I really am a mommy, your mommy, and that is an honor I will strive every day to be worthy of.

Happy one month of life, Baby Girl. You have made this past month the best of my life. I thought I knew love the moment I held you in my arms for the first time, but each day of this past month I've realized that the love I felt for you yesterday, pales next to the love I have for you today. And even though tomorrow hasn't come yet, I know that the love I will have for you then will be even greater still.