tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post1807970617600467621..comments2023-04-26T01:40:17.433-07:00Comments on Ready To Be A Mom: Pregnancy GuiltHollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13797146094622280538noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-25055031707147142452010-09-08T11:31:43.796-07:002010-09-08T11:31:43.796-07:00WOW....I dealt with the trying to get pregnant iss...WOW....I dealt with the trying to get pregnant issue for three years...I now have a beautiful 2 month old baby boy! I couldn't imagine losing him after knowing him even 3 minutes! I will pray for them and you as well. Be proud of your bump no matter what...because it is the most awesome thing you will ever have :) Congrats again.TASShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10108648149597506861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-48438321890139024602010-09-02T16:42:05.572-07:002010-09-02T16:42:05.572-07:00Hi!! I just found your blog and I am ttc with PCOS...Hi!! I just found your blog and I am ttc with PCOS. I can understand how you feel, you remember how hard it was and all the struggles but try and not feel guilty. Everything happens for a reason and this was your time to get pregnant. Be happy and celebrate. You deserve it!!Brandi Hudackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06760377533946262776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-74738780336165988572010-09-02T12:29:42.984-07:002010-09-02T12:29:42.984-07:00Wow, your post was so beautiful and thoughtful. An...Wow, your post was so beautiful and thoughtful. And your "survivor guilt" theme is very similar to the post I was planning to write this weekend about how I feel guilty in our blog/twitter community for having had two BFPs even though I lost both pregnancies. So many people in our community would love to have my two lost BFPs. I think you have shared your good news with much grace and sympathy for others :)aplusefforthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12142056896638707180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-6435169713789933222010-09-02T11:39:07.174-07:002010-09-02T11:39:07.174-07:00I've had so many of the same feelings. It'...I've had so many of the same feelings. It's hard not to feel this way, especially when you remember what it's like to be on the other side waiting for your turn. <br /><br />My heart breaks for your neighbors and their loss. I think that your plan to share your story with them is a good one. Many hugs and good luck!RDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15451980464779531192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-21353201453492981612010-09-01T23:19:41.754-07:002010-09-01T23:19:41.754-07:00You shouldn't feel guilty at all! and I know t...You shouldn't feel guilty at all! and I know that when it finally happens for me, I won't feel guilty either. congrats!Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15276575383753334435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-70311901149637671162010-09-01T19:21:11.664-07:002010-09-01T19:21:11.664-07:00Enjoy every second. Guilt isn't necessary. Bad...Enjoy every second. Guilt isn't necessary. Bad things happen to everyone, all the time. If we don't savor the sweet -- then tragedy wins.Logical Libbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00107961721466815295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-35599053488688819012010-09-01T17:25:09.992-07:002010-09-01T17:25:09.992-07:00I've always said, and I mean this, that pregna...I've always said, and I mean this, that pregnant infertiles have it the worst as far as guilt and being unsure of their place. It's tough. Like you said, it's survivor's guilt. But I am so glad that you were able to reach out to your neighbors and offer your support. You are one of the sweetest people I know, Holly, and I just know that your neighbors appreciate and value your kindness and love. <br /><br />I'll be thinking of them. What a sad story. I know that nothing can ever heal their pain, but I'm sure your amazing spirit made their day a little brighter. <br /><br />xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-68778120296834542552010-09-01T16:42:04.503-07:002010-09-01T16:42:04.503-07:00I'm glad you were able to reach out to your ne...I'm glad you were able to reach out to your neighbors. The flowers were a good idea. So sad.Three Cats and a Babyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16757969648902689785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-37463551751654301152010-09-01T15:49:39.713-07:002010-09-01T15:49:39.713-07:00I think to many people can relate to your post. I...I think to many people can relate to your post. It's so true about survivor's guilt. Just remember you have nothing to be guilty for...you deserve this just like every mommy to be!Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06406591702871726587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-64603237945130309372010-09-01T15:14:42.622-07:002010-09-01T15:14:42.622-07:00So I am now balling at work! You are so very kind...So I am now balling at work! You are so very kind and sympathetic! I wish there were more people in the world like you!Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17573016353068602885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-32811165666670931142010-09-01T14:59:26.809-07:002010-09-01T14:59:26.809-07:00Holly I love you. You are seriously the kindest pe...Holly I love you. You are seriously the kindest person I have ever "met". I was in tears reading your neighbor's story...it breaks my heart. You are totally doing the right thing in talking to them...I think because you have been through the loss you can understand some of their pain. Be strong and I'm sending you lots and lots of prayers!Tilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02287774099947731664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-39485704828032987312010-09-01T14:42:11.020-07:002010-09-01T14:42:11.020-07:00Being someone who is still in the midst of the str...Being someone who is still in the midst of the struggle without a BFP yet, I thank you for your words! I am overjoyed for you and your husband and being on the other end, I don't want to take any of that away from you! I agree that it is hard when I hear people are pregnant, whether they didn't struggle or went through tons of treatment. I hope to be on the other end one day but just hearing your words helps that hurt of all the new pregnancies. I think once you explain your situation to your neighbors they will be touched that you worried about it and though it might be hard, it will make everything less ackward and easy in the long run. I am praying for you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16505627254979005262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-76551516224464291522010-09-01T13:25:04.190-07:002010-09-01T13:25:04.190-07:00My heart goes out to your neighbor's. What an ...My heart goes out to your neighbor's. What an unimaginable loss! I think the way you are feeling is what alot of pregnant infertiles have felt before. I know I had and still have guilt. And I try to be cautious of things I say even to those people around me in IRL, because you just never know what they are going through.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-82132983599889992512010-09-01T13:24:12.110-07:002010-09-01T13:24:12.110-07:00I too have had the "survivors guilt". I...I too have had the "survivors guilt". It is so hard because I know how it feels to want something so bad and see everyone else around you get it, but I also know that I was more happy for those who had to struggle to get pregnant, when they finally did, even though I was not. It's a hard place to be. I have so many of my infertile family on my facebook and while I want to share the joy of little things that are happening in this pregnancy, I do feel guilty when I post about them and try not to as much, even though it took us years to get pregnant as well. <br /><br />I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel as well as I'm sure all the other "infertility survivors". I really hope that your neighbors don't take the news of your pregnancy too hard. What a horrible thing for them to have to go through to lose a 6 month old child. My heart breaks for them. <br /><br />Just remember that it's okay and I think natural to feel this way, but don't miss out on all the amazing feelings this hard earned pregnancy is bringing forth in your life. *hugs*Amy@LittlePinkDollhousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15695151900610111514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-60155219200616416162010-09-01T13:21:42.736-07:002010-09-01T13:21:42.736-07:00I've been thinking a lot about and struggling ...I've been thinking a lot about and struggling with this over the last 6 months. It's weird...I identify more with the IF world than the pregnant world, but I feel like I don't really fit in anywhere.<br /><br />You and your DH's kindness to your neighbors during this difficult time is awesome. I'm sure that they will appreciate hearing about your journey to pregnancy. HUGS.Tinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06483073088839971159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-47166280334681415692010-09-01T13:05:04.218-07:002010-09-01T13:05:04.218-07:00As 3 years ttc and now 8 weeks pregnant I relate t...As 3 years ttc and now 8 weeks pregnant I relate to this post so much. I've gone a little quiet on Twitter, and have bid adieu to my IF forum because I don't feel I know what to say any more. <br />I have been so open about EWCM and my cycles and injections but now my thoughts have turned to being about pregnancy I just don't know what to say out loud. <br />Also, IRL I've been so open about my IVF that everyone knows I'm pregnant. Therefore there's no way I can be subtle about it, even in these pre-bump days. I know as well as anyone that I don't know what private struggles people may be having. <br />It all leaves me feeling a bit lost. Like you, I don't want to cause any pain but also wish to share my experience with those around me.Jenniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12093758771073194123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-52193255860013241052010-09-01T12:57:26.822-07:002010-09-01T12:57:26.822-07:00That is wonderful that you were able to reach out ...That is wonderful that you were able to reach out and bless your neighbors that way. I like your reference to "survivor's guilt" because I often use the term "IF survivors" - we are still struggling with IF, but we have been blessed with a miracle too. Whenever I felt (or still feel) that guilt, I remind myself that God brought us through IF with a beautiful outcome and we need to use that for His purpose. To me, that means continually reaching out to and encouraging others in the IF community. I thought Stirrup Queens captured it well: "...there should be a secret handshake for those who have experienced or are currently experiencing infertility. She was finally pregnant after multiple miscarriages and she wanted infertile women to know when looking at her pregnant belly that she was one of them still - in heart and mind..."Jodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04196438317799175511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8838573435997763550.post-11740786195571703762010-09-01T12:47:40.080-07:002010-09-01T12:47:40.080-07:00I am feeling the same way right now. I don't ...I am feeling the same way right now. I don't want to hurt others with my joyous news. I feel guilty about it. I know that without our BFPs others will lose hope. I like giving others hope. But I also know, firsthand, that I cause the Green Eyed Monster to come out as well.<br /><br />I, perhaps naively and way too soon, joined a pregnancy board. I haven't posted a thing. I find it difficult to relate to the other women in my "May 2011 Due Date" community. The entire site has questions on it like "Did you get pregnant right away or did it take a few months?" Really? Where's the "It took me thousands of dollars and years to get pregnant option?"<br /><br />I have survivor's guilt at the moment but I still identify more closely with my fellow IFers who ares till struggling than those that didn't have to work for it. But I will gladly fade in to the background so as to not cause them more pain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com